Ned's Pet Rock

Ned: I got this new pet rock, Percy at the pet store today for 500 dollars. He knows a lot of tricks.

Ted: Are you kidding me.

Ned: Maybe? Watch him fetch.

Ted: Yeah fetch boy.

Ned: It's a girl.

Ted: How the heck do you know that?

Ned: Good question. I just guessed.

Ted: You guessed?! Are you high!?

Ned: Well I m-might, have been drinkin a little...I gave most of my beer to Percy though.

Ted: The rock is underage drinking?

Ned: No the age for rocks is 2 months.

Ted: Crap, that stupid rock.

Ned: Hey don't talk like that to Percy. He has ADHD you know. He gets a little temperish.

Ted: Dude, its making faces at me....hes coming closer....ahhhh!

Ned: Awwww he likes you.

Ted: AHHHHHHHHH!

Ned: He needs a rest. Let me put him in his new box.

Ned: AHHH OH MY GOSH I FORGOT AIR HOLES!!!! HE'S GUNNA DIE! Quick hand me the wrench he needs surgery!!!!!!