My Stupid Phone

Ned:Ringtone ringing: Boom shakalacka boom boom shakalaka boom
Ned: Heylo?
Person Who acts like Ted: Ohla senior Poncho. We are selling rakes would you like to buy one?
Ned: Who is this.
Person who acts like ted: This is your horescope...guy...thingy person that tells you what to do everyday for your future. I am coming from innnnnnnssssssiiiideeeeee your phone. (long dramatic pause) Can't you hear the echo? echo... echo...
Ned: I don't believe in those juboombin horescopies.
Person who acts Like Ted: Well this horescope wants you to buy a rake.
Ned: STUPID PHONE!!! I AIN'T BUYIN NO RAKE! (shuts the phone)
Ned: WHY WON'T THIS PHONE DISTROY ITSELF LIKE IM COMMANDING IT TO!
Neds concious: If you really want to distroy your phone wouldn't you want to buy a rake to hit it with?...
Ned:... Thats a great idea poncho...Oh I mean... (sarcastically) Thats a great idea concious.
Ned: I'll call him back.
Person Who acts Like Ted's Ringtone: Teddy Bear! Teddy Bear!
Person Who acts like ted: hmmm who's this? Oh yeah its Ned.
Person Who acts like Ted: Hey whats u-..I mean Ohla! This is your horescope speaking, Poncho.
Ned: Umm yeah. I'd like to order a green rake.
Person who acts like ted: Oh bummer. Those are out of stock. I would recommend blue. It gets the job done.
Ned: But I don't like blue. I ASKED FOR GREEN STUPID PHONE!
Person who acts like ted: Well...ummm...(sarcastically) the blue does extra good work and gives you an energy boost. On the side there are fireballs and each fireball gives you an extra 500 leaves per minute.
Ned: Does it have a cupholder?
Person Who acts Like Ted: Well we tried putting it in but the fireballs took over you know?
Ned: Oh I see. I'll just get the blue.
Person Who acts like ted: Ok you will be getting your shipment shortly.

Vrrooom Vroom (car pulls over)
Person who acts like ted: Heres your rake. (throws it out the window driving away quickly)
Ned: It was YOU!
Person who acts like ted: No no nooooooooo! Dont hit me with it! im eternally bleeeeding!

Ending not allowed for younger viewers














Ned: Stupid PHONE! Why do you always have to ruin it!